Old Man Molesting

"Yes I remember, it was raining cats and dogs and I didn't want her to walk in the rain for fear that at her age she my catch a deadly cold." That little old lady was me, I'm a goodness nymph." What's a goodness nymph?" We go around the world and take human form, when someone does a good deed putting someone else ahead of themselves we grant that person's most deepest secret wish. And when you gave me bus fare you had no money left for your own fare, therefore you had to walk home in the rain." Well let me say you did a great job, but wont people suspect that I'm not really Kaci?" Nope, not at all because by now I'm sure you've noticed how easy it is for you to adapt, you have all her memories and your own. Her body knows what to do, so while you still have your own thoughts you also have the added thoughts of this body." Wow, thank you very much, everything is perfect." Wait there is one more thing, you're a lesbian. You have a girlfriend that goes to your school. Your mind should. ‘Nothing,’ I shrugged, ‘I simply yelled at Hoss to get out and he did. The rest … I dunno.’ ‘Wasn’t it the result of a power granted by your hat?’ As I mentioned earlier, I have a hat. It’s a black top hat about eight inches tall with a blue bandanna hatband and a red feather stuck in it. But it’s no ordinary top hat. It acts as a gateway to an extradimensional space, allowing me to store several hundred of my closest friends in it. I can also produce almost anything I need from it – like televisions, VCRs, diamonds cut into shapes of contour maps of various states, peanut-butter-powered cars, gasoline-powered hats and wool-knit sandwiches. Plus every time I place this particular top hat on my head, it does something strange. Once it made me One With The Cosmos for the better part of four years, another time it hurtled me forward in time approximately fifteen years (safely past the Disco era, thank you for asking) and shortly thereafter granted me the ability to fly (it is worth.
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